Live, Breathe, Exist

A lot of us exist without living.

Living is to fully enjoy the processes we create or experience.

To drink a cup of coffee while inhaling the strong, earthy fragrance of the coffee. To feel the warmth of the drink at each layer as it goes through the insides of the human body.

To feel the sharp coldness of the ocean, to taste the saltiness of the air of the ocean, to smell the cleanliness or the mix of pungent smells whilst wary of the crescending waves pulling you into her cold embrace and stealing you off into her deep recess.

To kiss, feel the warmth of the mouth, get lost in the emotions being conveyed and not think of the organ being enveloped in the fleshy orifice splattered with particles of food, saliva and plaque.

To dance like one possessed, not mindful of lustful, watchful eyes, nor wary of rock hard or very soft parts nor pungent smells invading personal space.

To be one with nature, to be light as the leaves falling to the ground from the trees, to preside over the jungle with the lions, to soar the sky with the eagles, to create honey combs with the bees, to build and guard your home like the beavers.

To live, breathe and truly exist.

 

Hour glass -perspective

 

Hourglass (author unknown)

 

I saw the picture above on a friend’s display picture (shout out to grandvee), the simplicity of the picture caught my eye first, then I saw the images of the people embedded in  the picture and the ironic beauty spoke to me and I knew different people would surely interpret this picture in different ways and I decided to satisfy my curiosity. Disappointment was far from me, because the answers that came varied like water to oil.

My sweet said “Enjoy every second Together cos u don’t know when it’ll run out”

The foreign one aka the brilliant one had two answers ” E mean say the love dey expire with time small small” AND ” It could also mean say as you get older you and your love are getting closer to death in “till death do you part”

The Abuja babe said “They will go to the end of time together without letting go of each other”

The filmmaker aka former bestie said “This feeling will eventually fade with time”

In the particular order it occurred to my love (his words) “time” “limited time” “love”

Surely some people are itching to hear mine, yes??? Well my interpretation is “With time a relationship would always metamorphose”

 

What’s your interpretation of the image in this post?

Matrimony

Matrimony by Wale ft Usher has to be my song of the year. It’s the only song till date that I can listen to more than once every damn day.
The gods and angels must have personally delivered the lyrics to that song, especially the narrative in the video version of the song.

“Getting engaged is like getting, uh, it’s the first hill of the roller coaster
And you hear those clickers, the loud sound – this really violent, metal
‘Chunka-chunka-chunka’ and you go, “What, what’s going on here,” You know?
“Boy this thing is really, really goes high!”

This quote captures what I always imagine when I hear so, so and so got engaged…

I think; did fear run through her mind when the question was asked?

Did she think:

• This is forever and I can never leave?
• Do I really want to do this?
• O gosh, when do I start shopping???

 

Wale asks ” Even if you make plans you never think you’re really ready for marriage?”

A lot of people do not know this: marriage would always test you, test your character; no matter how calm, sweet, strong, or in love you are, marriage is the iron that sharpens the other iron – you.

MARRIAGE WOULD TEST YOU

Seinfield – who is the narrator goes on to answer: No, it’s uh, it’s like any growth. You are no- you can’t be ready for it because it’s growth, it’s gonna be new. It’s gonna be new. You’re gonna have a new life, you’re gonna be a new person.

Intro
Couldn’t make you wait forever, for forever
This is forever
I gotchu

THIS!!!

If a couple did not start dating at a very young age,  if they had good  jobs at the start / early into the relationship, dude why are you making her wait forever? read 8/10 years, let her go! Marry her.

If there’s a question of my heart, you’ve got it
It don’t belong to anyone but you
If there’s a question of my love, you’ve got it
Baby, don’t worry, I’ve got plans for you
Baby, I’ve been making plans, oh love
Baby, I’ve been making plans for you
Baby, I’ve been making plans
Baby, I’ve been making plans for you

Share those plans, do not make her do guess work, share them – communicate.

I feel like all the worries and temptations Wale goes on to rap about were never really shared with the woman he is / was in a relationship with but it came down to the crux so he had to express himself. Let it all out and shit.

A lot of guys do that – “man up” and keep their worries to themselves. All this does is make a woman fill her imagination with the funniest images and most ludicrous stories ever. (why do women do this?) but if let in to the “thoughtsville” of their partner sometimes, things could be better, all other things being equal off course.

I especially love when the narrator goes…
“I always feel like I’m a planet, and these other women that are, kinda moving through this solar system with me, and, marriage is like you decide to jump off of your planet, across to another planet, and you can only do it when one planet passes real close. And you look and you go, “Hey, I think I can jump across.”

Marriage is a risk, jump carefully.

In conclusion,

Wale thinks this is the realest shit he ever wrote, me thinks this is the realest, most resonating shit I ever heard.

Heartbreak

You know that trip to the doctor’s, where you have to register your complaint about a certain pain and the doctor asks “how does it hurt? ” how painful is the pain? Is it a peppery sensation, is it a throbbing pain? Does it hurt at certain times? OR the way the doctor’s in the movies ask; on a scale of 1 – 10, how bad does it hurt?
Those are the questions I want to ask when someone says they are going through a heartbreak. I want to ask the heartbroken person if they feel actual pain, or if they feel numb. I also want to ask how they are sure the pain they feel is attributed to the heartache and not something else. I further want to ask the person to describe what they feel / felt when they are / were heartbroken, and I almost got to ask these questions last week on twitter when I realized the trending topic was heartbreak. Unfortunately, I was hours too late.

Do I want to know the answers to all these questions because I genuinely want to understand the pain a heartbroken person is going through so that I can find ways to help that person out of their misery? No.

I want to know because the term (heartbreak) fascinates me. I want to understand it, associate with it but I do not want to experience it.

I find fire to be fascinating,  I also think fire is powerful –  it burns down stuff in seconds, some people might want to be fire, they might want to control fire but no one wants fire to burn them, same thing with the intriguing emotion termed heartbreak, I want to understand the emotions of the words but I definitely do not want to be heartbroken.

Unfortunately, I believe a person can be heartbroken by their partners while in a relationship. The number one reason for experiencing a heartbreak in an active relationship  is disappointment, in order words, when your partner continually does not live up to your expectations, you might just need a heart transplant.

I remember going through a period of heartbreak pain over a guy I was in a relationship with at that time, when I felt alone and unwanted, I would have a panic attack, dry heave and cry for about a minute, then I would self counsel and console myself (not audibly of course) and then listen to whatever music spoke to me at that moment. The couple of minutes it took for all of this to happen was saddening, I never liked  who I was for those few minutes so i cannot imagine what people going through a heartbreak feel about themselves at that time…

I want to know though, what do you do to help a person going through a heartbreak?

Misunderstood?

“Don’t just date someone that loves you, date someone that understands you, I mean someone that knows why you act the way you do” -@priestess_j

I saw this tweet yesterday while lurking in the shadows of twitville as usual and it resonated loud and clear. Why? you may ask.

Well, obviously I once had a boyfriend that loved me and I loved but unfortunately never understood me.

Crazy thing is I used to ask, “do you understand what I am saying?” and he would answer in the affirmative and I would do or say something and he would never get it, duh!!! when I explain he would say okay but I thought you meant this.

I would do the same thing another day and the whole scenario would occur all again.

Suffice it to say, the day we broke up, he asked if I was in love with him, I answered “I am still here”, he asked again, I finally said no but I am still here, he replied that means it’s over, I said okay.

SIGH…

A drink to all the miss-understood folks out there, may we one day we go bo lo wo awon “misinterpreters”