The thirst is real

I want to ask you a question he said.

They barely had enough time to exchange numbers at their first meeting, so the night of the day they met, they were having their first major conversation via the telephone.

Okay she answered.

Your response to the question would determine your level of maturity.

Alright she responded, thinking this would afford them the opportunity to get a sense of who they are and what type of relationship (read – acquaintances, business partners, friends, lovers) they would have.

Are you a virgin? He asked.

Nigga you is thirsty flashed across her mind as she responded; you just showed me your level of maturity.

 —————————————————————————————————————————

Come and visit me in my house, the 30-something years old choir director said to my 16 years old self.

I asked him why he wanted me to visit him seeing as we saw three times a week during choir practice?

He laughed at me and with a jeer asked “why are you behaving like a small girl?”

I was confused as to why he would think my question alluded to me being a small girl but I knew I did not want anything to do with his house.

I never went to visit him.

—————————————————————————————————————————-

We are in love.

My friends laughed and said since we had not had sex, we were not in love.

She told me she didn’t want to have sex, I responded.

They said – she is not in love with you, she is deceiving you.

I know we are in love, she tells me and I know that.

Okay, okay, Mr. Lover man, the only way you can be sure is if you have sex.

How can I have sex if she says no?

Simple now, don’t be a small boy. Tell her you are not having sex, that you only want to put the tip there.

The tip?

Yes, the tip of your dick, you put it in her toto, and then you start to push it in small, small, she won’t notice.

Ehen, okay, thanks guys, I would invite her over.

Correct!!!

—————————————————————————————————————————

Brother J, I noticed you have not been cooking. What happened to your cooker?

My sister, times are hard, I had to sell it.

O, my brother, it is well o. How have you been eating now?

Well, because of why I had to sell it, I cannot even eat out.

Ah!

Soooo… I have been managing one bread like that and I still have garri.

Heeee, that’s not good.

Wetin man go do now?

Okay I would bring you food later.

Thank you my sister.

Bye,bye, see you after work.

At night

Bros J, see the food.

Thank you en, please drop it on the table.

Yeee, why you dey grab my bobby?

Nor be wetin you find come here?

What??? I brought you food as I said I was going to.

En, why did you bring it at night?

Because I knew of your condition on my way to work, there is no way I would have gone back to dish food for you.

En why did you chose to bring it at night?

Because I just got back from work!!!

Lesson of the day

Do not read imaginary sexual signs, ask questions, believe the answers, they help guide against sexual assault.

Toto – vagina

Dick – penis

Heee, ahhh – exclamations

Wetin – what

Bobby – breasts

Risk

I cannot remember if this was written by me but I wrote it down in “my book” sometime between February and March of 2007.

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out to another is to risk involvement.

To expose your feelings to others is to risk rejection.

To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest risk of all is to risk nothing.

The person, who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, he cannot feel, he cannot change, he cannot grow and he cannot love.

Chained, he is a slave.

Only the person who risks is truly free.

The last morning assembly

“School II boys” knew how to make an entrance, they were always late and came in as a crew. As I watched them walk bounce into the hall, I wondered if they would still retain the bounce in their steps when they were like 50 / 60 years of age. It would honestly look funny to see an old man bouncing so much that his head almost touches the ceiling.

The feeling of K trying to run his hand across my thigh to slide it under my skirt distracted me from the school II boys’ entrance. “Is this one mad, who gave him liver to eat” quickly flashed across my mind as I fixed my angry eyes on him and he tactfully removed his hands from my thigh while apologizing and begging me not to embarrass him with his eyes.

Being the last day of secondary school, the last morning assembly was held in honor of us (the graduating students). As one of the schools’ prefects, we rotated supervising the students during the morning assembly. This task involved us looking our best, making sure no noise came from the section or the class that the prefects were required to stand amongst. Woe betides the prefect that could not ensure their section was quiet. Due to our acquired status as graduating students, the above task had being assigned to the new set of prefects and K’s hands had also made me miss the security of my beloved SS1 students. The SS1 class was always my preferred class to supervise as they were green, eager not to get into trouble and they saw the SS3 students as being really senior to them so they adhered to instructions like fish to water.

Back from my reverie, I looked around me and saw the first set of friends I made when I resumed school in JSS 1, the naughty ones, the toasters, the couples, the people we thought would have been expelled at a point, the friends by association, the people who were crying – I quickly stopped looking at this set of graduating students because I didn’t want to cry. I considered myself too strong to cry, even though I was acutely aware that I was not likely to see most of these people I had spent a long time with, the people i had been flogged with, the people i had been embarrassed with and by, the people i had grown with, I told myself that I had made up for that by ensuring I spoke with everyone in my set during my last term in the school.

I am glad now that I eventually cried when we sang our last hymn from the songs of praise, the hymn titled God be with you till we meet again, because as you can imagine, 10 years down the line, I still haven’t met or heard from some of these people.

Light, peace and love.
Always try to make and leave positive memories.

Grateful Girl

I am grateful for;

1. Waking up this morning.
   Mosquitoes bit me so much last night, that in my dream too i was bitten by mosquitoes, and to think I sprayed my room on Sunday with one locally made insecticide. I guess the mosquitoes have developed immunity to the insecticide or have evolved.
2. The internet.
   This sounds cheesy but the internet has given me the opportunity to get my voice out there and it prevents me from being the devil’s workshop.
3. Local people.
   My understanding and speaking of my local dialect is important to me and they daily help me sharpen my Yoruba skills.
4. Sunscreen.
   My sunscreen is probably my most cherished possession right now. The way I never forget to rub it lovingly into my skin anytime I have to leave the house is border-line ritualistic.
5. Music
   Music gives life!!!
6. TV shows.
   All my favorite shows are back.
   Empire baby!!! Grey’s Anatomy!!! The Blacklist!!! Scandal!!!
   I usually wait to download all of them and then I binge watch them. It’s so much fun that way. I am trying to get back on the how to get away with murder train so I download it too. The Vampire diaries used to be my love that year but season 4 just made me stop, I am trying to get back on that one too but I am honestly not inspired to.
   A post on my favorite series would make its way here someday.
7. Loved ones.
   I have a couple of precious people that have helped shape me in one way or the other but I am just going to highlight a few of them.
   My parents – these people are just special, they are hardworking, approachable, funny, a pain in the ass but above all they are kick-ass awesome.
   My siblings – my constant antagonist, my funny-bone, my playmates, my escorts, my friends.
   My booski – love means and represents different things to different people, when you find the one that ticks boxes you didn’t know existed, don’t run away, don’t worry about the length of the relationship, just give your best at every moment and enjoy every moment as much as you can. To oga sir, I love you just because I can (wink, wink)
   To the girl I call “ode” on an almost daily basis –  you are awesome.
8. Above all, God and his grace.

Be Grateful today!!!